When you deliver more than you promise people are pleasantly surprised.  It’s like a waiter at a restaurant who delivers outstanding service, and you want to tip him because you are thrilled and surprised that they did so well.  So the notion is, if you promise to do X, deliver 5X or 10X and people will be touched and impressed and they will think that you are differentiated from the pack, which is exactly what you want.  So dazzle them and deliver more than you promise.

Do what you say you are going to do, follow through on what you promise.  I am actually dazzled when somebody says they are going to do something and they actually do it.  It suggests that you have credibility, it suggests you can be counted on, it suggests you are going to go the extra mile and it somehow tells people you are going to be different than everybody else.  Therefore, if you say you are going to have the report in on Monday at nine, have the report in on Monday at nine or tell people you are going to be late.  Do what you say you are going to do and your credibility goes through the roof.  It’s absolutely wonderful.  And, you are going to be enormously successful.

Be nice to people.  Show some manners.  Show some grace.  Send a thank you note. Show appreciation.  Show the fact that your mother taught you the manners necessary to do well.  It’s really remarkable when you are nice to people you are going to get more mileage.  It’s like bringing more honey to the table generally gets more honey in return.  So, if you want to be successful, show your manners, show your grace, show your appreciation.  Be nice to people AND people will be nice to you in return.  Its funny how that works, be nice to people.

Do you want to be successful?  Most everybody does, it’s just that most people often forget some of the basic requirements to be successful at anything.  If you want to be employed, you always want to do well and you always want to have people wanting you.  Then follow the success formula and step number one is Show up on Time.  Most people have trouble with the concept of showing up on time, particularly people who are chronically unemployed.  So, what do you do?  You make sure that you show up.  If you say you are going to be there on Tuesday at 8:00, be there on Tuesday at 8:00.  If you show up on time you get everybody’s attention, to suggest you’re committed, you’re dedicated, you’re going to pay the freight necessary to do well, and you are dazzling people because most people are surprised if you actually show up on time.

If you are like most people you truly believe that if you reinforce the behavior you’re looking for, you’re probably going to get more of it.   Do you believe that?  Somehow we feel its okay to reinforce two populations:  small children and dogs.  If it works on small children and dogs, do you suppose it works on grown ups?  Of course it does!  Most people generally hear criticism or they hear nothing.  Yet, most of us thrive on being told what we are doing right.  Therefore, make a point of increasing the frequency of telling everybody what they’re doing right.  You’re at very low risk of doing it too much.  So if you’re terrific, that’s terrific.  If other people are terrific, tell them!

Research says that when people encounter you, what they are likely to remember is about 10% of what you say, 35% of how you say it, and 55% of how you look; which means that 90% of what people remember has to do with packaging, it has to do with the way you look.  If you look good and dress up, if you improve your appearance, people are going to pay more attention to you.  Therefore, my recommendation is to take pride in your appearance and improve it… press it, shine it, cut it, shave it, color it, curl it, brush it, elevate it, tuck it, and pluck it.  When you do, you’re going to look more attractive and you are going to have more pride in your appearance and people will pay more attention.  So, improve your appearance and the environment will as well.

Do you ever notice you’ll do that?  You’ll say things like, “Well, to be quite honest…” or “I’m gonna be honest,” or “Do you want me to be honest?”  It’s interesting that when people ask me, “Do you want me to be honest?”  I usually answer, “No, it would be out of character for you, it’s really out of order for you to be honest.”  They then look at me as if I’m sort of strange.  The reality is that what you intend is quite different from how it is received when you announce your honesty.  If you say, “to be quite honest, here is my position…”  It almost is received in the following way, “What, you’ve been deceitful so far?”  My recommendation is if you must say something, say, “frank,” or “candid” or “direct.”  Instead of saying “to be quite honest” say “to be quite frank.”  You’ll notice that you’ll get more the results you’re looking for without that kind of question.

The Yeah buts… Do you ever notice how people get engaged into that kind of conversation?  “Well, I think we ought to do this” “well, yeah but that won’t work.”  Do you ever notice that when you “yeah but” on each other you are actually creating more of a conflict because the words “yeah but” are a contraction for a much larger implied phrase.  “Yeah, I may or may not have heard what you just said but, now I want to say what I have been rehearsing while you’ve been blabbering.”  The reality is that if you want to increase the contest, keep doing the “yeah buts.”  On the other hand, I recommend that you change the “yeah buts” to “on the other hand.”  When you do that, it is much less of a contest and people are now beginning to listen.  So, instead of “yeah but,” do “on the other hand.”

Do you notice that people often will give you some form of appreciation?  They will say “thanks so much” or “I really appreciate what you did,” or “you were enormously helpful.”  Do you ever notice how people respond when you thank them?  Often, you will say “thanks so much,” and they will say “no problem,” “not a problem,” or “no problemo.”  What is interesting is if I say “Thank you,” and you say “No problem,” then I immediately think, “What, would there have been a problem?”  Your best bet, when I say “thank you,” is to acknowledge it with “it’s a pleasure.”  Instead of saying “no problem,” say “It’s a pleasure.”  Think about how that might work, “I say thanks so much for your help.” You say, “It’s a pleasure.” You will feel good about it and I will feel even better.

People will treat you how you teach them to treat you.  What that means is that you set the tone, which means that if people are ignoring you, you’re probably helping them to do that.  If people are engaged by you, you’re probably helping them to do that. If you’re a “cold fish”, then you’re probably teaching people to be cold around you.  So think about the tone that you set.  What you radiate, you attract.  People will treat you how you teach them to treat you.  So, think about what you want to teach them in the first place.  When you think about that, you’re going to change your behavior to a way in which you want people to respond towards you.