Do what you say you are going to do, follow through on what you promise. I am actually dazzled when somebody says they are going to do something and they actually do it. It suggests that you have credibility, it suggests you can be counted on, it suggests you are going to go the extra [...]
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If you are like most people you truly believe that if you reinforce the behavior you’re looking for, you’re probably going to get more of it. Do you believe that? Somehow we feel its okay to reinforce two populations: small children and dogs. If it works on small children and dogs, do you suppose it [...]
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Do you ever notice you’ll do that? You’ll say things like, “Well, to be quite honest…” or “I’m gonna be honest,” or “Do you want me to be honest?” It’s interesting that when people ask me, “Do you want me to be honest?” I usually answer, “No, it would be out of character for you, [...]
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The Yeah buts… Do you ever notice how people get engaged into that kind of conversation? “Well, I think we ought to do this” “well, yeah but that won’t work.” Do you ever notice that when you “yeah but” on each other you are actually creating more of a conflict because the words “yeah but” [...]
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Do you notice that people often will give you some form of appreciation? They will say “thanks so much” or “I really appreciate what you did,” or “you were enormously helpful.” Do you ever notice how people respond when you thank them? Often, you will say “thanks so much,” and they will say “no problem,” [...]
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People will treat you how you teach them to treat you. What that means is that you set the tone, which means that if people are ignoring you, you’re probably helping them to do that. If people are engaged by you, you’re probably helping them to do that. If you’re a “cold fish”, then you’re [...]
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If you are like most people in relationships, you spend an enormous amount of time trying to change somebody else. As a matter of fact, in most American marriages, you’ll notice that at least 80% of them have at least one person in the marriage that is self-appointed to fix the other person. And you’ll [...]
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If you think about conflict that you’ve been dealing with in one respect or another, you’ll notice that every time you encounter conflict you start to polarize. What that means is that you’ll interpret anything that creates stress from a position of two options. You’ll think about right vs. wrong, good vs. bad, win vs. [...]
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You will notice that “you should” on yourself often. You will say things like “I should exercise.” “I should quit smoking.” “I should be nicer.” “I should spend more time with my kids.” You’ll notice that every time you think you should do something, you actually feel bad and you’re reluctant. If you say “I [...]
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Have you ever noticed that sometimes you meet someone and you get along with them easily? Yet other times you meet someone and it seems to be uphill all the time. You have to do lots of “maintenance” and getting along with them seems like a chore. There are even times when you know someone [...]
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Dr. Perry has a keen ability to help the top executives in our firm reach a higher level of performance. His understanding of human nature and motivation for success is wonderful. — Raul Alvarado, Worldwide Managing Partner, Accenture
